He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
