@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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