I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
