Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
