your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
