At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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