Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Are we still banned from the library?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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