Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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