I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
