I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
