The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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