9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
