come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
