On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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