Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
