Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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