I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
