she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize