i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
