she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
