this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
that is very illegal...i love you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
