So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
