my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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