Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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