So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
