your parents love me but you hate me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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