Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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