the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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