I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
