yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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