Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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