Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
