so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize