The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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