So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
