Kiss
Puke
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
