so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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