DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
