Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
