hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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