I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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