They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
