Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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