We're facebook friends in real life
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
