I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
