Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
