I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my shit smells like andre
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
