Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
