I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
