Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
