I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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