I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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