Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
