wanna go halves on a baby?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
