Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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