dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
