I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
