Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Im part way to drunk.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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