I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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