listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
