im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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