you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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