i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
